Eulogy for Anna Drabble prepared for her funeral 19 January 2021
Introduction
Firstly, I want to thank Rev. Howard Mellor for agreeing to take this service for Mum. In
these strange times, it is heartening to have someone who knew mum to take the service.
Thank you also to the wider family, some of whom I know will watch this, for all your kind
wishes of sympathy to Gill and I at losing mum.
One hundred is a grand old age, particularly given that mum pretty much had all her
faculties to the end. It does present me with a dilemma though. How do I try to do justice to
Mum’s long and productive life in 5 minutes when, at her mid-point in life, I was just 8 years
old!?
Anna Drabble’s 100th birthday – Sep 2020.
You will understand, therefore, if my primary focus is on my memories of a very happy
childhood where mum’s role was crucial in shaping the way that Gill and me went on to
build lives of our own and the values that have guided us.
However, there is a longer written version of this eulogy that sets this relatively brief
snapshot of mum’s life in a backdrop that will help to paint a fuller picture of mum. I am
conscious that for my children at least, some of this history may be completely unknown to
them. I will make this available on line and maybe air it at a future celebration service for
mum’s life when circumstances permit.
Marie Nussle with her parents and siblings.
Mum’s Mum and Dad (Marie and Rudi)
Mum was the third child born to Marie and Rudi Lhotsky on 1 September 1920 in
Wandsworth. Rudolph, the eldest, tragically, died at 7 years old leaving George as their only
child until Mum arrived.
Those of you who remember Marie know that she was quite a formidable character. The
eldest of nine children from the Schaffhausen area of Switzerland, much was expected of
her by her father who was the postmaster. Working hours she was expected to maintain
the accounts for the post office and either side of these she had a host of domestic
responsibilities associated with running a household the size of a football team! Marie, like
mum, was ahead of her time, and as a young lady she construed that she was a victim of
child exploitation - probably before the term existed - and when she met Rudi she took the
radical step of eloping with him and they emigrated to London. Rudi was a skilled metal
worker and Marie ran a busy grocery store in Pimlico.
Marie Lhotsky and Rudolph Marie Lhotsky with George & Anna
I share all of this because mum had many (thankfully not all) of her own mother’s
characteristics; particularly, there was a clear Germanic influence. Disciplined, hard-working
and decisive are all facets of mum and ones no doubt nurtured through her school years at
the relatively recently established Carlyle Grammar School for Girls in Chelsea. Part of that
school building still exists and now forms part of Morley College for Further Education.
Carlyle Grammar School for Girls in Chelsea
Upon graduating from Carlyle, Mum attended teacher training college and then served as a
teacher during the blitz in Peterborough and subsequently in London, I believe in Hackney.
Mum shared with me that she was encouraged to take forward some innovative approaches
to physical education curricula that she had been instrumental in developing as part of her
dissertation.
Marriage to Edgar Lindsey-Berry
Like her own mother, mum
didn’t waste time finding a
husband. During the war,
Mum was volunteering in a
hospital and Edgar, serving
in the Royal Australian Navy
was convalescing, having
sustained injury in action1.
They married in 1941 when
mum was just 20. A
generation later, mum used
to remonstrate with both
Gill and me at various ages
from 16 onwards that we
Edgar (2nd from left ) during the second world war
1
The only photo of Edgar in uniform I could find suggests he served in the RAF suggesting that possibly he
transferred from the RAN to the RAF.
were far too young to consider serious relationships with the opposite sex. When we
pointed out to her that she was engaged at 19, it was met with the very firm riposte; “Well
that was different then; it was the war!”
Family was always hugely important to mum. She made a number of visits to see her Uncle
Henry, Aunt Marguerite and cousin, Rita. The first was in 1936 and then again in 1946 when
she was idolized by her 14 year old cousin, Rita, who played tennis and swam in the pool
with her every day; mum was good at both. I was privileged to see some cine-footage of
that visit a few years ago when I collected mum from that same house in Champigny in 2011.
After the war, Edgar took a fine art course at Kennington Art college where he became a
very gifted sculptor. My favourite sculpture is of an aboriginal man that for many years
dominated the sideboard in our living room at Downsview Road. Mum and Dad were living
in Fitzwilliam Road, Clapham at the time.
In 1956, TB took Edgar’s life, curtailing their plans to emigrate to Australia together. I believe
this would have been the time when a grieving mum welcomed the opportunity to go hiking
with her dear cousin Rita in the Swiss alps where Rita formed her opinion of mum as a
strong, modern woman ahead of her time.
Mum was very beautiful, and it is not surprising that she had suitors as a widow without
children. Gill has relayed a conversation with Mum of her decision thankfully to abruptly
terminate one such relationship when she learnt of the hopeful’s intention of having a family
of at least six children! This was clearly not compatible with mum’s career aspirations or her
very firm views on the independent right of a woman to birth control.
How Mum and Dad (Eddie Drabble) Met
Mum and Dad’s wedding at Wandsworth Town Hall 31 Aug 1957
Ever keen to develop her craft as a teacher, mum enrolled on what we would now call a CPD
course organised by University of London Institute of Education; this included an exchange
visit to view a number of schools in Denmark.
My Dad, Eddie, a very happy bachelor living in Putney, happened to be on the same trip and
mum clearly took a shine to Eddie and decided he was to be her partner for life going
forwards and they married shortly after at Wandsworth Town Hall in 1957. Gill arrived on
the scene ten months later.
Mum and Dad took up residence in the upstairs flat of Rodenhurst Road, Clapham with
Marie and Rudi and Great Aunt Emila (Rudi’s sister) living downstairs. I believe at this time
Mum was the Head Teacher at Vauxhall Primary School in her late 30s.
Mum, Dad and Family Life in Downsview Road, Upper Norwood
Four years following, my pending arrival was the trigger to find a place of their own. In 1962
Mum and Dad moved to 36 Downsview Road, Upper Norwood which was the very happy
family home for Gill and me growing up.
36 Downsview Road, Upper Norwood
Mum adored Dad and was utterly devoted to him. She has shared with me that on more
than one occasion she received advances from other men. Those foolhardy enough to
become amorous would have got a very frosty reception; marriage for mum was total
loyalty and lifelong commitment.
Looking back, mum had a boundless dedication and sacrifice to parenting that, somewhat
unusually for the norms of the time, was balanced around her career as a teacher.
Understandably, mum and dad ensured that we received a good education. I think that the
first three syllable word I learnt was scholarship, possibly before the word lollipop and I still
have painful recollections of sunny afternoons spent in front of 11+ verbal reasoning tests –
all to no avail as I failed to secure a scholarship to any of the public or grammar schools.
Both of us, however, had the importance of education drummed into us, albeit I was
somewhat later on the uptake; this has benefited our options for careers throughout life.
Outside of school, mum gave us ample opportunity to pursue other activities – particularly if
they were educational, irrespective of any absence of natural talent or commitment on our
part; these included Sunday School for both of us, notwithstanding that neither mum nor
Dad were involved with church (excepting their use of this free weekly childcare facility); for
Gill - Girls Brigade, swimming club, ballet, violin lessons and subsequently Croydon Youth
Philharmonic Orchestra; and for me swimming club, choir, cubs, ice-dancing lessons, piano
lessons, trombone lessons, Crusaders and church organ lessons.
Aside from the multitude of outside school activities, mum was forever ferrying me to and
from friends that were widely dispersed because I never attended a local school. I suspect
that she also did this to assess which friendships to encourage and which to temper.
Our childhoods were rich and diverse in activities that mum and dad made possible: taking
me in 1969 to see the maiden Flight of Concorde at the Trooping of the Colour and then
spending a worrying hour or so looking for me when I managed to slip through the crowd
and get lost; standing in line for four hours so that I could go to the Tutankhamun Exhibition
at the British Museum in 1972. There were annual visits to Chichester Theatre, including
seeing Barbara Windsor as Maria in Twelfth Night in 1976. Regular family trips were made
to The Fairfield Halls in Croydon, seeing among others Victor Borge, Stephane Grappelli and
Yehudi Menuhin. In 1975, she took me to a lecture given by Chris Bonnington following the
first successful ascent of the South West face of Everest.
It wasn’t all high-brow though. I recorded The Strawbs on Top of the Pops at the age of 11
and notwithstanding mum’s and dad’s total lack of interest in popular culture, it was regular
Thursday night viewing for Gill and me, accompanied by the weekly commentary from mum
and Dad of what utter rubbish it was.
I went to my first gig under the questionable charge of Gill to see PFM, Italy’s greatest Rock
Band at the tender age of 13. I should add that it was a long time before Mum and Dad let
me go to another gig!
Given the incessant round of ferrying to and from our various activities (and no doubt the
associated expense) mum and dad didn’t socialise a great deal so they were quite happy to
watch TV in the evenings and include us – particularly if it was deemed educational! The
Underwater World of Jacques Cousteau left a lasting impression on me and undoubtedly
sowed a seed for my life-long love affair with diving. Other highlights included The Good
Life, The Dave Allen show (Dad only – mum found it vulgar) Morcambe and Wise and
Porridge. On one rare occasion when mum and dad hosted other adults for a party, I recall
that the ice breaker for it was about 20 cryptic cartoons that Dad drew each one depicting a
TV show that you had to guess the name of!
The annual family holidays, mainly in Sussex, wouldn’t have happened left to Dad – no
change there – and which Dad tolerated except on one occasion where he found the excuse
to slip away to bottle his home brew!
Off to Freshwater on the IoW for our annual holiday 1970
A lasting recollection of Mum is that she had absolute integrity and I am not aware of any
occasion in my life when she sought to misrepresent events or be economical with the truth.
This has been an incredible example for me in life, which on occasion I have failed to aspire
to and paid dearly for the consequences. Mum also applied a similar transparency to her
views in any given situation. When you had a conversation with mum there was nothing
nuanced about it; no hidden agendas or withheld emotions. Mum would call things as she
saw them and this was no doubt alarming to the unsuspecting listener and sometimes to
Dad, Gill and me, who did not share her somewhat binary perspective and extreme views on
some subjects.
For mum there were thresholds of tolerance beyond which her frustration would be
unleashed. One such occasion sticks vividly in my mind – probably because of the rarity of
rows at home. Gill came back from school with a New Musical Express illustrated feature on
Alice Cooper complete with portrait of said rock star, half naked with mascara and an
accompanying python. Mum was livid and proceeded to rip it to shreds at which point Gill
became equally hysterical, telling mum she would have to buy another one because it had
been lent to her by her friend Loreen.
Somewhat surprisingly, mum was risk-averse in terms of the activities we undertook. There
were probably due grounds for alarm in relation to parties and drugs as far as Gill was
concerned. A lasting memory for me dates from my first sailing trip with School when her
parting words were: “you will be careful; make sure you tie yourself to the mast”. This
clearly stuck with Dad who in successive years any time mum advised me to be careful
mischievously interjected: “tie yourself to the mast!”
Mum was obsessive about health and fitness including the role that she considered diet and
roughage to play, in addition to exercise. There were at least two massive tomes in the
house on the subject of human health and well-being and mum would seemingly devour any
article that would reinforce her views on the importance of roughage. All Bran and prunes
formed part of our staple diet but thankfully so did tapioca that probably counterbalanced
the action of the former.
Sunday afternoons, competitive point-scoring watching Bamber Gascoigne presenting
University Challenge was invariably followed by a walk to The Rookery or occasionally up to
Crystal Palace to see the dinosaur sculptures. In the summer months Gill and I were
frequently at the health club playing badminton, tennis, swimming - badly -or sunbathing.
Mum has always been supportive and taken pride
in our achievements and this has continued
throughout adult life and extended to an interest
in the grandchildren and her three greatgrandchildren. I am so thankful that my four
children all got to see her this year,
notwithstanding the constraints of coronavirus
and I cherish those meetings when they shared
their news and photos. Mum was adamant in
reviewing albums from the beginning and would
not accept that she had seen any of the photos on
a previous occasion; her eyes always lit up with
joy on these occasions.
Anna Drabble & Jack Darvill
Until infirmity limited her ability in the last year or so, Mum was a prolific correspondent
both as a means of maintaining cherished family links but also longstanding friendships.
Mum was someone to whom many who were privileged enough to know her developed
lasting friendships. As one example, Mum received a Christmas card this year as every year
from Marianne who at 21 years old was an au pair for them, following Gill’s arrival. In it she
wrote: I am thinking a lot about you and of the very nice time I have had with you in 1959 as
an au pair in England. Do you know I was turning 83 in October?
In retirement Mum (and
Dad) led a full life. They
visited Judith and me in
Norway and later in the
USA, renewed links with
family at home and in
Europe, played badminton
and both campaigned for
the Liberal Democrats.
Mum’s lifelong passion for
education was furthered by
her resuming German
classes and with University
of the Third Age both of
which she loved.
Proud grandparents; Anna & Anna; Eddie and Ben Drabble
Today would not be complete without saying something about mum’s faith. This became far
more important to her when I was approaching adulthood and she regularly joined me in
attending church at Chatsworth Baptist Church in West Norwood. Mum subsequently
became a member there and very active in her faith, prayer life and bible reading
throughout the remainder of her life. I know from some of her letters that like any Christian
she experienced ups and downs but there was a firm foundation there.
I firmly believe that mum became a more compassionate and broadminded lady in the latter
part of her life; undoubtedly dad’s empathy had a mellowing effect on mum but so too did
her faith.
Mum, you will be missed by all of us but thank you for helping to make us who we are and
for the happy memories that you leave us.
Ray Drabble